


Happy Birthday Brawl

by Capucine



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, States -- Hetalia
Genre: 4th of July, A gazillion OCs, Gen, States
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capucine/pseuds/Capucine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America is celebrating his birthday with all his states. How long will it take before it breaks down into a fight? (Hint: not long)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday Brawl

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't get to do all the states, and I'm not from all the states I've used, so let me know if there are better ways to characterize the ones I have in the future, cause I want to write more States!

There was a cacophony of sound, and America whistled in vain. “Come on, guys! It’s my birthday!”

“Everybody shut the fuck up!” New York shouted, reaching into his classy leather jacket to shove an envelope at America.

“Don’t say ‘fuck,’ there are young ones present!” Ohio gasped, raising her hands up to her mouth. She was pleasantly chubby, wearing a pink t-shirt with a cartoon kitten on it.

“I’m not a child!” Rhode Island shouted, trying to wriggle out from where Texas had sat on her. “Will someone get him the fuck off of me, his big fat ears don’t seem to work!”

“Come on, Texas, that seat was reserved for Rhode Island and you know it,” California said in a placid voice. She leaned over, inadvertently giving him quite the view of her cleavage between her bikini top and long, billowing organic skirt.

“I never heard anyone claim it,” Texas drawled, adjusting his cowboy hat. He was wearing denim on denim, which was clearly making New York have an eye twitch.

“Guys! Come on, calm down!” America said, taking the envelope from New York. “It’s a birthday party, everyone’s supposed to be having fun! And Texas, get off of Rhode Island, you’re going to crush her.”

Texas shrugged and got up, putting a big box in front of America. “Y’might want to open that one soon… it needs to be refrigerated.”

America’s eyes sparkled, and he immediately began to tear it open. And indeed, it was exactly what he thought it was.

“Oh my god, oh my god, Texas!” California hit Texas in the back of the head with her tiny purse. “That’s like, animal remains!”

“Also known as steak,” Texas replied, looking fairly pleased with himself.

“Oh my god, I love you!” America beamed, hurrying to put the steaks in the fridge.

As he returned, there was a lot of clamoring for him to open the other presents, so he started on New York’s envelope.

“Oh, a gift card. Wait, I can spend this anywhere?” America grinned.

“That’s such a thoughtless gift!” Ohio protested, as if New York should run out and buy a ‘real gift’ immediately.

“You’re just jealous cause you probably made him another sweater,” New York said with a smirk.

Her face turned pink, and she looked like she might cry.

“Uh, how about I open Ohio’s present next?” America said, taking the box wrapped in star spangled wrapping paper. He tore it open, and indeed, as he lifted out the gift, it turned out to be a very soft blue sweater. 

“Told you. God, Ohio, could you be any more conventional?” New York sighed, and the sensitive state started to sniffle.

“No, I love this present too,” America said, giving New York The Look. “You’re amazing at knitting, Ohio. Thank you so much for this sweater.”

Ohio nodded, a small smile coming across her face.

“Shoulda given him tires,” New York teased, and Iowa peeped angrily, as she tucked back her corn-silk yellow hair,

“Stop being an ass!” She shoved her gift across the table at America, readjusting her cutoff jeans.

America wished his birthday wasn’t like this every year. But hey, you get fifty-plus people in the same church basement every year, and you’re going to end up with conflict.

As he opened Iowa’s present, he smiled at her appreciatively. “Come on, guys. It’s the birthday of the entire United States! We can’t act like this.”

“Ooooh,” he said, eyes brightening as he finished opening Iowa’s gift. “Is this your homemade cornbread? And it comes with honey!”

“The good stuff,” Iowa sniffed, “Not that tripe you can buy at a grocery store.”

“Does that mean it’s organic?” California wanted to know.

“Uh, there’s a bee in it,” America said, staring at the bottle.

“That happens. Just don’t eat the bee, the rest of it’s still good,” Iowa assured him.

“Ooooh, you can make an amazing face scrub out of that,” South Carolina said, almost dreamily. Her sundress was a pretty pink that contrasted with her sun-kissed skin nicely.

“Yeah, I think I’m just going to eat it… except for the bee.” America grabbed the next present, reading the label. “Oh… something from Wisconsin! It’s probably--”

“Cheese,” everyone said in unison.

“Hey! I make the best cheese, for your information!” Wisconsin snapped, pushing back his wavy hair.

It was indeed cheese. America’s mouth watered. They really knew how much of a glutton he was.

“Okay, you’ll like, like mine the best,” California said, sliding her box (which was covered with recycled wrapping paper) to America.

“Okay! That sounds awesome, Cali,” America said, ripping it open. He stared in shock, saying, “Well, I definitely don’t have a shirt that looks like this…”

“It’s made from organic materials and natural dyes,” California said.

America raised the brilliantly tie-dyed shirt, and he said, “This is pretty awesome! I can wear this when I come to visit you and your friends!”

California smiled, seemingly pleased.

“Or you could wear it if you want to get beat up,” New Jersey pointed out, his slicked back hair shining a bit in the lights.

“Shut up, New Jersey!” California snapped. “Just because you like to destroy the world with your garbage and fumes doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t try to save the earth!”

New York snorted. “It’s not about saving the earth, Cali. It’s about not looking like a gay hippie.”

That was about when the present opening ended and the all out brawl began.

Maybe next year America wouldn’t have to open the rest of the gifts in his room with a black eye.


End file.
